


There Lived a Certain Man...

by Aurum_Auri



Series: Tumblr Prompts [5]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Double Penetration, M/M, PWP, Pure Crack, Russia's Greatest Love Machine, Size Kink, Spitroasting, Threesome, ra ra rasputin, sex contest, size given in both metric and imperial, three way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2018-11-12
Packaged: 2019-08-22 19:36:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16604222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aurum_Auri/pseuds/Aurum_Auri
Summary: Rasputin and Victor have a contest to decide who Russia's Greatest Love Machine is, and Yuuri is the judge.





	There Lived a Certain Man...

**Author's Note:**

> Another tumblr prompt from Anon! This time: Ok, so how about Victor/Yuuri/Rasputin where they DP Yuuri with 12/14 inch dicks. And idk Yuuri crushing two cans with his ass as a show of dominance will be a good addition. Or like, another Victor from another dimension suddenly summoned by Rasputin to fuck Yuuri's throat while the gangbanged Yuuri's ass will be great.
> 
> I didn't get double Victor plus Rasputin but there's plenty of other good stuff in here. 
> 
> THIS IS PURE CRACK. I DIDN'T EVEN EDIT IT, AND I WROTE IT IN AN HOUR. PLEASE ENJOY IT AS MUCH AS I ENJOYED WRITING IT. 
> 
> Also, I wrote this while listening to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aiSdTQ9DW9g this song

This was definitely going down as the strangest day in Yuuri’s life. 

First a very large, very handsome Russian man appeared in Yuuri’s bedroom. He was dark-haired, bearded, wearing an ushanka and a thick coat. When he pulled the coat off, because the hot Japanese summers did little to accommodate fur-lined garments, it revealed a thickly muscled, bare-chested body. 

Yuuri blinked. “Who are you?”

“I am Rasputin,” the man said. 

“Okay,” Yuuri said. He turned his head toward the other man who appeared and almost fell to his knees. “Wait- y-you’re-”

“Hello! I’m Victor Nikiforov!” The other man greeted. Yuuri wasn’t sure when Victor Nikiforov had appeared in his bedroom, because he was fairly certain that he would have remembered his childhood idol appearing out of thin air. 

However, when Yuuri poked Victor’s (also bare) chest, it was solid and, as with Rasputin, quite nice and muscular. Victor beamed at him. 

Yuuri looked between them, mouth gaping open. “Why are you in my bedroom?” 

Rasputin cleared his throat. His voice, when he spoke, was thickly accented. “We are here to decide who Russia’s greatest love machine is.”

Victor nodded. “The universe has decided that you are the only person fit to choose between the two of us. So, Yuuri, who is it?” He beamed at Yuuri, winking and gesturing to one of the posters on Yuuri’s wall. Yuuri let out a little ‘eep’ sound as he deflated in horror.

The posters of Victor plastered the walls like a creepy stalker shrine to Victor’s legacy. No sane (or straight) man had this many posters of another man plastered on his walls. 

“You cannot cheat your way through this,” Rasputin said gruffly. “We do this fair and square. So, Yuuri, how will you decide between us, who is the greatest love machine in Russia?” 

“Yes, Yuuri,” Victor purred. “Fair and square. Who is Russia’s Greatest Love Machine?” 

Yuuri tapped his chin, looking between them. Both were handsome, although Rasputin was handsome in a more rugged kind of way, while Victor was broad shouldered, but comparably more lithe and androgynous. Rasputin’s eyes were dark and hooded, while Victor’s were bright and wide.

“Appearance-wise, I have to give it to Victor,” Yuuri said, considering.

Rasputin clucked his tongue. “Yes, but there is more to being the greatest love machine than simply being attractive! My words can make a lover tremble. I can preach with ecstacy and fire.” 

Yuuri nodded. “You have a point. We’ll have to have more events to judge it by.”

“Yuuri,” Victor crooned. He stepped closer, his voice pitched seductive and low. It made Yuuri’s legs turn to jelly. “Tell me that my voice doesn’t make you weak at the knees. Doesn’t make you want to close your eyes and kiss me.”

Victor whispered nothings into Yuuri’s ear, and his willpower was crumbling. Yuuri was quite aroused in a matter of moments, left dazed by Victor’s tone.

Victor stepped back, smug, as Rasputin stepped forward, delivering a powerful recitation in Russian. Yuuri wasn’t sure what was being said, but it had an otherworldly power to it. Rasputin’s whole body seemed to come alive as he spoke, and it was truly a sight to behold.

Victor was seductive, but Rasputin had a power over words that Yuuri was forced to concede to him. 

A scoreboard appeared on the wall, showing a point for each of them, Victor and Rasputin. 

Rasputin grinned, a dark gleam in his eye. “And now we are tied. What is next, Yuuri?” 

Yuuri hummed as he thought. This was a tough choice. It was hard to decide, but Yuuri didn’t think much of this competition, and he really wanted to give this to Victor. “Dance,” he decided at last. “A true Russian Love Machine needs to know how to dance.”

Rasputin let out a bellowing laugh. “Then let me show you my moves.” He dropped into a squat and kicked his leg out, calling “Ho! Ho!” with each alternating leg he tossed out. He bobbed from left to right in a surprising display of dexterity, stamina, and grace, delivering a stunning series of Kazotsky Kicks. 

Beside him, Victor started to dance, using the compact space in the room to sweep Yuuri into a very cramped Paso Doble. Yuuri laughed and spun, then dropped and joined Rasputin in the kicks. Victor dropped beside Yuuri, and they all three delivered synchronized Kazotsky Kicks.

They all dropped at about the same time, breathless and falling into a heap. Breathing hard, Yuuri shook his head. “I’m afraid that one is a tie, I can’t give it to either of you. You were both too good.”

“Then we need another tie breaker,” Victor said. “I refuse to lose.”

“I will not be defeated by him,” Rasputin agreed. “We must have a tie breaker.”

Yuuri tapped his chin. “Russia’s greatest love machine,” he mused. “Well, I suppose the only way to truly decide who the best love machine is… would probably be for both of you to fuck me, right?”

Rasputin looked darkly pleased by this turn of events, letting out a slow laugh. “I’m afraid, pretty Yuuri, that you cannot handle my Thick Russian Cock.”

“Nor mine,” Victor said, looking equally smug. They were staring each other down, both highly certain of their endowments. Yuuri squinted at them both. 

“You’re both too confident in your win. Don’t look down on me,” Yuuri said, turning around. He pulled down his pants and pulled the very large buttplug out from inside of him. His body was already slick with lube. He grabbed a beer can and shoved it easily in his ass, then clenched.

There was a sound of grinding metal. The can fell to the floor, crushed. 

Yuuri looked at them both. They had gone a little pale. “So, who wants to go first?”

“I will go first,” Rasputin said. “I am not scared.” His voice was shaking lightly. He sounded a little bit afraid, if Yuuri had to judge it, but he did step forward before Victor, which did give him a point in his favor. 

Victor laughed. “Yes, best to let the smaller cock go first. I sincerely don’t want to injure you, Yuuri, and I want to give you a fair chance to feel my friend’s cock before I ruin you for anyone else.” 

“I am not your friend,” Rasputin said, “and if I go first, he will surely be so satisfied from me that he won’t even care about your pathetic cock.”

Yuuri flopped on the bed. “Are you going to argue all day or are you going to fuck me?” he grumbled, spreading his legs. “Someone put something inside me already, or I’ll decide that neither of you are the best lover in Russia.”

Rasputin dropped his trousers, and Yuuri’s eyes went wide as he saw the stiff length between Rasputin’s hairy thighs. Rasputin grinned through his beard. “Are you pleased by what you see?”

“H-how big is that?” Yuuri asked. Rasputin grabbed a ruler off a nearby desk, measuring himself. 

“Do you want it in metric or imperial?” Rasputin asked smugly.

“Surprise me,” Yuuri said. 

Rasputin chuckled. “12 inches, or 30 cm.” Victor laughed delightedly, although Yuuri didn’t know why. 

Yuuri was drooling. “Oh, god, put it in me,” he begged, spreading his thighs wider apart. “Fuck me, Rasputin.”

“I will make love to you,” Rasputin said with a grin, pushing his fat cock inside Yuuri. There was a small pinch, Rasputin’s cock almost too big for Yuuri to bear, endless as it kept going deeper and deeper and deeper inside him. 

“Oh god,” Yuuri moaned. He wrapped his legs around Rasputin’s thighs as Rasputin slowed, giving Yuuri time to take a breath, relax around him. He eased in deeper. When he was almost all the way in, he slid back, dragging his cock over Yuuri’s prostate before forcing all of it in even deeper than before. 

Yuuri keened and whined, writhing on the cock as it split him open. Rasputin fucked him hard and fast, bouncing Yuuri against the bed until Yuuri was a writhing mess.

Victor appeared beside Yuuri’s head. His cock was in his head, but Yuuri couldn’t turn to take a look at it. “Yuuri, have a taste of mine,” Victor said, laying his heavy, hard cock over Yuuri’s lips.

It didn’t go into his mouth, couldn’t force past his teeth. It was too big, too long. Yuuri whined, trying to bring his hands up to feel the girth, the length. His jaw seemed to open a little wider, and then suddenly it was in his mouth, heavy on his tongue. 

Victor tipped Yuuri’s head back. When Yuuri relaxed his throat, it was able to slide deep down his throat, fucking Yuuri hard. Yuuri couldn’t think, couldn’t speak, couldn’t make sense of being split between two absolutely monstrous cocks. 

They teased and toyed with his body, their hands sliding over his skin. Rasputin stroked his cock. Victor leaned down to mouth at Yuuri’s nipples. Between the two of them, Yuuri came quickly, shuddering through a full-bodied orgasm. 

The pair weren’t finished with him yet. Victor pushed Rasputin out of Yuuri’s body, pushing quickly inside after him. The stretch was even more than it was before. Yuuri let out a delicious, pleased cry, somewhere between pleasure and pain as Victor opened him up on his cock. 

Victor hauled Yuuri up, and Yuuri wrapped his body around Victor’s, crying out as the change in position forced Victor’s cock even deeper than before. Victor bounced him in his lap. Yuuri could only cling to Victor, head lolling to the side and drooling as Victor did exactly as he said he would do- ruin Yuuri for any other cock. 

“H-how b-b-big are y-you,” Yuuri gasped as he was fucked, barely able to get a syllable out between each massive thrust. “Oh god- ah! Victor, more- ah!”

He clutched tighter as Victor rose to his feet, using gravity to slam Yuuri down harder on his cock and holding Yuuri suspended in the air. “Fourteen inches. That’s 36 cm of pure love, Yuuri. How does it feel?” Victor crooned into Yuuri’s ear. 

Yuuri let out a scream as Victor dropped back down onto the bed, pulling Yuuri over him so he could fuck up into his tight, messy asshole. 

“What do you think of this, Rasputin?” Victor laughed, teasing his fingers around the rim of Yuuri’s ass. Yuuri had a wild image flash through his mind of Victor’s fingers pushing inside beside his cock only seconds before it actually happened. 

“Oh- fuck fuck fuck-” Yuuri swore as his body was stretched to the limit.

“Yuuri, you take us both so well,” Rasputin hummed, sliding one of his own thick fingers in beside Victor’s. “Can you take us together?”

“No, no- I can’t-” Yuuri gasped.

Victor smiled into Yuuri’s skin as he pulled Yuuri’s legs apart wider. He rubbed his fingers against Yuuri’s prostate until Yuuri melted, caught between the pleasure of Victor’s thick cock and the feeling of Victor teasing his most sensitive insides. 

Yuuri went boneless, relaxed. The fingers pulled out. 

And then Rasputin started to push in beside Victor.

Yuuri let out a startled scream, his hands flying out to steady himself. “Breathe,” Rasputin murmured. 

“Breathe,” Victor echoed. “Take deep breaths, let us both in.” 

Yuuri sobbed as he was opened the widest he’d ever been. He had been ruined by their cocks alone, but now he was being fucked by both of them together. They moved out of sync, always filling Yuuri with one of their cocks, sometimes filling him with both of them.

Yuuri sobbed and cried, too lost in his pleasure to know what was up, what was down. It felt like a hazy dream outside of reality. 

Yuuri whined when Rasputin pulled out, but it was because the cock was jerking, twitching, already spilled inside Yuuri’s very sensitive hole. Yuuri was flopped onto the bed, and Victor pulled out after him, leaving his own very sloppy cream pie inside Yuuri.

It trickled messily out of him, his body ruined by the internal battering of two cocks bigger than imagination. 

They smothered him with kisses. “Who won,” Victor purred.

“Tell us who won.”

“Who won~”

“Who won~”

“Who won~”

_ “Who won~” _

_ “Errrr! Errr! Errrr!” _

Yuuri blinked his eyes open. The bedroom was dark, and Victor was curled up against Yuuri’s side, snuffling softly in his sleep. Yuuri touched his backside. No come. No fucked out hole. No Rasputin.

Jesus, what a dream.

That was the last time Yuuri was eating leftover Katsudon right before bed. 

 


End file.
